Quote Analysis

"It wasn't so much desire that led me as my intention not to live like a coward. I was determined to take what life would offer. I didn't want to be the only woman of my generation to hold to standards everyone else had long ago abandoned."

-Anne Roiphe. Art and Madness: A Memoir of Lust without Reason. New York: Nan A. Talese, Doubleday, 2011. 19.

I just began reading this book, and I'm already in love with it. The quote above is something that I know I have felt and thought, and that I have a feeling most people go through.

For how do we want to live life? Do we want to strive for an excellence that might not be achievable? I mean, I'm sorry, but the fact is we can't all be rich and famous. Celebrity depends upon and only means something when there is the mediocre, those yearning, the proletariat with which to compare.

So we can strive for whatever we want, but there's never a guarantee that we will achieve it. I can write until my fingers are knobbed and shaking with arthritis, and my wrists crack from carpel tunnel syndrome, but that doesn't mean I'll strike that lucky vein (or marketing team) that Stephenie Meyer did and be able to make a living from it. In fact, with all of these changes recently in the publishing world, it will probably only become harder for the diamonds to glitter among the rough (I'm not saying my work is any good, just that I think a lot more crap is going to be published with the increase of book piracy).

Do we go with what's safe? Can we trust what our parents tell us? All parents do their best, but the fact is that the world changes. People's attitudes generally don't, but it certainly seems that their morals do. The shy, smart girl is generally just considered a stuck-up bitch who won't put out, rather than chased and admired from afar like some John Hughes movie.

Sometimes, we just have to face our fears. That's the only way we can change, the only way that we can improve. For sometimes, we're not perfect just the way we are. To anyone.

And usually, when we feel the safest, that's when we need to change the most.

Anywho, that's what this quote got me thinking about. What about you? There's a lot of meat there, just begging to be chewed over... (Which is my way of saying, please comment below; I'd love to hear your thoughts!)

A Memoir About Loss

Let me preface this book review by saying that I don't ordinarily read very much non-fiction anymore & that I had never read a Joyce Carol Oates book before. I was curious, and I wanted to experience how the well-known Oates writes. So I requested, and was lucky enough to receive, her memoir A Widow's Story, which will be released March 2011.

My feelings towards this book are ambivalent.

I can see a lot of great things in it and about it, but I didn't really enjoy reading it.


The memoir details what the author went through and experienced just before, during and after her husband died.


The first thing I would say about this memoir, is that you immediately notice that Oates writes well, and is very intelligent.


It's clear that Oates is a literary person, both due to the way that she writes, as well as the references that she makes. She quotes and alludes to people and concepts that make it obviuos Oates has spent a lot of time in the world of academia. It's a little intimidating, but it also makes you feel good about your own seeming intelligence - the way she so blithely discusses the people/concepts/etc., it somehow seems implied that she thinks you will know who/what she is talking about - particularly when you actually do know who/what she's referencing.


The second thing I would say about this memoir - far too much use of stream-of-consciousness (for my tastes).


I can understand the use for stream-of-consciousness writing/rambling. Really. I have read it in great works of literature; I have used it myself, both in personal essays, and works of fiction. I understand that sometimes, a writer has to use it.


I can also understand why Oates uses it so consistently in her memoir. Suddenly, her brain is moving a mile a minute, repetitively - she's not thinking in complete sentences. Often, her brain may not even be coherently registering a complete thought, let alone think in complete sentences. It's all fragments and confusion - and stream-of-consciousness perfectly portrays that.


Just as it is difficult to live in a state where you're constantly overwhelmed with thoughts that are vague, unclear, and half-stated, however, it is also difficult for me to READ something that is written in such a manner, if it occurs for more than a few paragraphs. Oates used it a lot in the galley which I received, and after a few chapters utilizing it, my attention span began to wane. Dramatically.


The memoir also necessarily repeats - usually stated in slightly different ways, after awhile, it was glaringly obvious that Oates was repeating the same material. This means, of course, that she was also GOING THROUGH the same things numerous times - which is a true-to-life sentiment. It also means, however, that much of the memoir, if you're not interested in reading repetition, feels unnecessary.


The concept of the memoir is interesting, and I feel that if you like non-fiction, this book is probably something that you should check out. If you're generally a strict fiction fan, however, avoid this book, as it will probably not hold your interest for very long.


I will finish by talking about my least favorite aspect of this book - the omniscient writing.


Oates wrote a lot of passages that began with something along the lines of: "To the widow...," "The widow feels...," "The widow thinks..."


I guess this was so that widows reading the novel will feel like they're not alone.


To me, however, it felt pompous.


I mean, isn't every widowing experience going to be different? I felt like some of the things Oates claims "the widow" goes through were a bit specific.


Her book is entitled A Widow's Story - meaning, what SHE, specifically went through. As she's only one widow, it just didn't sit well with me, that she decided to be the spokesperson for all widows.


For those who have read Oates' work before - is her fiction different from her non-fiction? If I didn't like this memoir, is it unlikely that I will like any of her work, or was my dislike probably with regards to this book in particular? (I have a BURNING DESIRE to know the answer - it is as if my pants are on fire, and your answer is the bucket of water, poised to put that fire out - so please, be my fireman/firewoman, and toss some water/answers on me!)


A Widow's Story goes on sale March, 2011.

Julie & Julia - Is this still topical?

I read Julie & Julia a few weeks ago. I contemplated writing a blog about it right away, but I'm kind of lazy, and honestly thought I should let the material and my feelings about it simmer for awhile first. (Notice that clever cooking reference? Huh? *nudge* Huh? *nudge* Okay, I'll stop.)

Anyway, I had mixed feelings about Julie & Julia, and thought it was a good example of my feelings for the genre that is memoir itself, which is why I'm writing about it on this blog, rather than doing a general review on my other blog.

One thing I will mention right away - unlike a lot of people, I took no offense from Julie's frequent use of certain words. I don't mind swearing, and in reality, most people without kids don't mind swearing. I am more in Julie Powell's book myself, possessing the mouth of a sailor, and offering few, if any, apologies for it. People swear. It's a part of the modern vernacular, it's normal vocabulary to use. If anything, I give Julie kudos for refusing to censor herself despite frequent request. Good for you, Julie! Stick it to the fucking man!

Particularly as a writer, I think that swear words, even if you don't use them yourself, are something you need to not be afraid of. If your main character stubs his toe, or she feels overwhelmed, most likely, he/she/it is not going to say: "Gee Willikers! That hurts/sucks/etc." That would be unnatural, and probably kind of creepy, like you're stuck in some weird fifties TV show universe, where Mrs. Cleaver has a Valium-induced smile pasted on her face as she secretly contemplates whacking her kids with the kitchen knife she uses to chop vegetables.

Timmy ruined another pair of pants today

Of course, a writer doesn't need to use swear words all the time - remember that fiasco that was the Blair Witch Project, with "the f-word" being spoken nearly every other word? Yeah, when you're scared, that's what you do, but such frequent use without furthering the plot is just irritating.

Words of Wisdom: Don't be a Blair Witch Project

Without much transition, I'm going to continue discussing Julie Powell's writing. I noticed something in Julie & Julia that I've noticed in a lot of memoir - sometimes the writing rubs me the wrong way. Since this has happened in several memoirs from authors who have an entirely different voice/writing style, I think there is something in memoir itself rather than Powell's writing that caused this.

Perhaps it's the reality? Knowing that this work is marketed as a memoir, and therefore, ACTUALLY happened? Yeah, some of the words may be flubbed a little bit, but Augusten Burroughs lived through some really crazy shit, and Julie Powell's apartment really was that dirty.

As I was lying in bed the other night, trying to go to sleep, the thought of Julie finding maggots in her kitchen just popped into my head, and really freaked me out. I mean - EW! I'm shuddering as I type this.

Does anyone else get this reaction? This feeling that you have to set the book aside for at least a few minutes before continuing? The mental equivalent from reading that some people physically get when they feel the texture of styrofoam or hear styrofoam being rubbed against itself?

It's... duh duh dun... styrofoam

Of course, I don't think there's anything wrong with writing or reading memoir. If you have a story to tell, whether it actually happened or not, you should write it down. But I think that when I read memoir, knowing that this author is claiming the events actually happened to him/her sometimes makes me cringe.

Maybe that's a good thing. I have a pretty strong stomach, and even if I'm disliking something I'm reading, the writing is inspiring strong feelings.